Despite the current world situation I had a record month in my business in July. It was quite unexpected in a way as I had planned for July to be a month of building systems and structures to support my growing business. Miraculously, what unfolded was that I had an increase in one on one clients as well as completing work on systems and structures. My plans weren’t derailed in any way by an increased client load, as they have been in the past.
So what changed?....... I did!
Lockdown 1.0 gave us all plenty of reflection time and what that showed me really clearly was how much I was holding myself back from my business. I had been procrastinating for a long time on uplevelling parts of my business that were calling me. Procrastinating because of a long held belief that I wasn’t worthy of the success I desired and afraid that I wouldn’t ever meet my own expectations. During lockdown I found myself engaging more deeply with my fears and limiting beliefs and stepping forward into parts of my business that I had been holding back from.
Most notably I gave up the idea of my own unworthiness. The belief that I was somehow unworthy has been with me for as long as I can remember and it has shown up in both my working and personal life. I have addressed its many layers and over time I have become skilled at recognising when it was operating, holding me back and keeping me stuck.
Today I want to share with you some of the steps I have taken to change this belief and how to recognise, if you too are holding parts of yourself back from fully engaging with your business because of beliefs and fears that need to go.
I suspect like me you likely got into business because there is something you are passionate about, something that you love doing and your business allows this. However, to really make your business fly you know you have to do things that scare the living daylights out of you. We are afraid because its new and outside our experience and often because we are holding on to old conditioning and beliefs that aren’t serving us.
~ When you pitch to a big client for a new contract you may come face to face with your fear of not being good enough and the part of you that doesn’t believe she can really pull it off.
~ When sit down and get real about the numbers in the business or prepare your paper work for your accountant you may meet the part of you who is afraid she isn’t smart enough, who doesn’t believe she can do it and who carries the belief that she just isnt good at maths.
~ When things in your business start to really take off up comes your fear of success, or your belief that you don’t deserve it.
~ When its your time to shine in your business you will feel your fear of rejection, your fear of being seen and your belief that you are not worthy.
This all translates into lost opportunities and slows your business growth. It puts the contract or new client in your competitors hands because you really couldn’t bring yourself to the table. And it will see you procrastinate and procrastinate on jobs you know you need to get done because you just cant seem to make a start. It will have you watching others enjoying the success that you crave.
The good news is that you CAN change the effect your fears and limiting beliefs have on your business and on your life. You can move forward and have what you want quickly and easily if you choose to and the rewards will be great. You will enjoy more success and growth in your business and feel more deeply satisfied, connected and engaged in what you are doing.
So how do you kick your fear to the kerb and up your self-belief? I’d love to tell you its easy but the truth is it will challenge you to do this. However, over time it does get easier. A lot easier.
I would encourage you, if it feels too hard, to seek some support from a coach. A good coach will be able to help you identify what the issue is and hold your hand as you work through it. Engaging coaching support has paid for itself over and over in my own business journey.
In the meantime here’s 3 strategies to get you started.
(1) IDENTIFY: make a note of what you are avoiding and putting off doing in your business. What tasks and activities fill you with dread? Also note the dialogue from the “mean girl” inside your head. What are you telling yourself about these things you put off? When we know where we are holding back it becomes easier to take action
(2) FEEL: engage with the feeling you have when you think about doing these things. Let the feeling tell you its story. Where does it sit in your body? How big is it, what colour is it, if it had a name what would you call it. What other tasks and activities make you feel this way. When was the first time you remember having this feeling? When we become familiar with our feelings, we can identify when they are impacting on what we are doing and we are in a stronger place to work through them.
(3) AFFIRM and attempt: now that you are really familiar with the feeling, acknowledge it when it comes up for you. Using an affirmation may help, such as “even though I am feeling not good enough, it is safe for me to start writing this pitch” “Even though I am afraid of not getting it right, it is safe for me to start my paperwork” Then make a start. it can help to have a timer and set it for 5 mins. Even though you are feeling your fear you are going to work on it for just 5 mins. After 5 mins review how you feel and how much you got done.Once you make a start you will find that you are able to work on it for longer than you think!
By engaging with what holds us back we are empowered to move forward. By engaging with our fears we begin the process of healing the parts of ourselves that are wounded, afraid and holding on to beliefs that no longer serve us. You can let your fears and lack of self belief dictate the level of success you experience in your business or you can at any moment take back your power and choose a different way. Its really up to YOU!
Finally I want you to know that its not YOU its your brain! Your brain has learnt to operate from the limited beliefs you are running so it feels extremely uncomfortable to do something different. Our brain, has to literally create a new neural pathway to choose a different response. That’s why it feels so damn awkward and icky. If you can allow the discomfort to be there but take action anyway, your brain learns to rewire to your new more supportive way of being.
So its time to stop holding yourself back and to start uplevelling your business and beliefs.
You can do this. I know you can 🙂
I’d love to support you with this process and to answer any questions you have along the way. Feel free to share or ask questions in the comments or DM me for a free 30min chat.
Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash
We learn to do life by experience, don't we.....and the reality is we are not always very well equipped for some of the experiences life throws at us. Like navigating relationships, losing someone you love and running your own business.
These have to be the 3 most challenging experiences life has given me and recently I have been reflecting on what I have learnt and how much that underpins my work as an Intuitive Coach. It has made me realise that many of the pitfalls of starting out in business (and in life) could be avoided with some really simple advice.....
"Know yourself, Believe in yourself and take ownership of the habits and patterns that trip you up so you can change them"
If you are super self motivated and you can take the sentence above on board and action it then you don't need to read the rest of this blog! But for everyone else let me explain this to you a little bit more.
(1) Know yourself: by this I mean work on getting a really clear sense of your own identity. Who are you outside of your job, your qualifications, your family and you relationships? What are your values? What do you stand for and believe in? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What is your vision for the future and what legacy do you want to create?
When we know these things we are uniquely positioned to make choices about the people we hang out with and the direction of our business and personal relationships that are in alignment with who we are and that creates a life that is more fun, more satisfying and that expresses the truth of who we are.
(2) Believe in yourself: I would say that 80% to 90% of the problems my coaching clients bring are self worth problems. This is no surprise to me, having had to work through my own self worth issues for many years. When we don't have high self worth and self belief we don't put ourselves forward when we know we want to. We second guess every decision we make and we procrastinate on the things that are most important to us. In business we feel unable to take action on our most important goals. We hide from the spotlight and play down our success. We constantly look for the "shiny object" will be the answer when ultimately, the answer is inside us all the time. Investing in growing your self worth is the best investment you will ever make. It will pay dividends in every aspect of your business and life.
(3) Take ownership of the habits and patterns that trip you up so that you can change them : Otherwise know as self sabotage, these things show up routinely in life when we are just starting to get traction on our most important goals. They can look like binge watching netflix instead of working, overeating, opting out with drugs and/or alcohol or simply finding a reason not to keep working away at what it is we really want. The truth about habits and patterns is they are simply well worn pathways your brain has created in response to experiences in your life. They show us where our fears are and just as our brain has created them to keep us feeling safe, it can create new pathways that move us towards what we want rather than away from it. The sooner we own these self destructive habits and patterns the quicker we can start creating new more supportive responses to our fears.
Over the 4 years I have been coaching I have become crystal clear on the effects of low self worth, ignoring habits and patterns and not really knowing yourself in my own life and those of my clients. That's why I now take care of these 3 things first for my clients, because no amount of business strategy, social media planning or marketing will get you the results you are after if you don't know yourself, believe in yourself and free yourself from the habits and patterns that routinely trip you up.
If you feel like you are clutching at straws in your business or that life just keeps on giving you lemons instead of lemonade get in touch and lets talk about which of these 3 things could be getting in the way for you. Book your free chat here
Photo by Kristina V on Unsplash
My name is Paula McFarlane and I am an Intuitive Business Coach. I help women business owners who are overwhelmed and clutching at straws bust through their business blocks so they can enjoy more fun, freedom and financial abundance in business. I do this through virtual and live group coaching programs, one on one coaching , workshops and writing.